The Agony and the Ecstasy...

My love for tennis has a lot to do with Federer. I also loved watching Borg, McEnroe, Sampras, Agassi, Becker and a bunch of others, but Federer was special. The way he moves, that service, the forehand, the delightful single-handed backhand, the sheer effortlessness and so on. The GOAT debate is eternal and you can find a lot to say for Nadal and Djokovic and others from a sheer results and tennis ability perspective. But then you add on the flair quotient : his demeanour, personality, sense of humor, polyglotism, acting ability – remember that delightful Swiss tourism commercial he featured in recently – and you have someone with multiple dimensions. For me that’s what makes him so much more than just a great tennis player.

 

He rode the decade of 2000’s like a colossus, sharing space with Rafa, no doubt, but still dominant in most parts. Then the slump around 2013. And then the unbelievable comeback in 2017! Which is what makes the current run so excruciating to witness.

 

When I saw his matches in Dubai earlier this year, for the first time ever I could see his face red with exertion. Geneva next – brief touches of the magic and then the collapse, a first round exit. I was feeling sick to the stomach. There were times during that match when I just switched the TV off in sheer frustration. The French open was a mixed experience, he played three rounds, did not lose, but was clearly huffing and puffing. On to Halle, a decent first round, a lovely first set with Aliassime and then the meltdown, the exit, the ignominy, the frustration, the pain. I could not bring myself to watch the third set. I was increasingly finding myself not watching his matches live, fearing his level of play and the results.

 

As the circus moved on to Wimbledon, like many Fed heads, I was filled with disappointment with his play so far and with trepidation for the fortnight ahead. Why the hell can’t the man retire? Why can he not move on with grace? Is this how he would like us to remember him? Oh, the agony of watching your heroes struggle!!

 

And then it hit me. Isn’t this the height of self-absorption? Forget my frustration, what about his? Forget what he’s putting us all through, think of what he’s putting himself through. Here’s a man who’s got 20 slams, probably the most glorified tennis player, the kind who would get crowd support even if he were playing the local favorite anywhere in the world! He’s got four young kids, a family, a foundation, he’s probably among those professionals who has a vibrant life beyond tennis.

 

He’s choosing to put himself through this. He’s choosing to go through the agony, fighting his way through the cobwebs, trying to breakthrough one more time. He clearly believes he’s got more juice in him. And if he’s right, it’ll still take him a while to get there. For us to rush to write him of is actually pretty silly. And disloyal!! It’s easy to stick with him when he’s winning. Do we have the heart to stick with him as he goes through the toughest battle of his career? 

 

Ever since my epiphany, I can’t help feeling amazed by his ability to hit the court after the kind of matches he’s had this year. I mean, after the Halle exit, topped off with a kind of mental meltdown in the 3^rd set, how does he even show up for work at Wimbledon? How does he put that kind of an episode behind him? 

 

I truly believe we are witnessing his biggest and most intense battle with himself. And we are privileged to be part of it, even as spectators. He may break through, he may not. But this is what all the self-help and management books tell us, right? Keep fighting. Never give up. It’s always darkest before dawn. And when we see that playing in front of us, we don’t have the stomach to deal with the troughs. If we cannot appreciate the fight he’s putting up now, then we as fans are very unidimensional – Federer is like a performing pony for us – as long as he wins he’s great, but the minute he starts slowing down, we have no use for him. 

 

As far as I’m concerned, I’m going to rejoice in his play. He’ll win some, he may lose many. But watching an aging warrior fight through to see if there’s still some leftover magic is an epic that I realize I’m privileged to watch. 

 

My eyes have opened. I’m a Fed head again!! And a content one at that. The demons of uncertainly and fear about his performances are gone. Bring on the strawberries and cream. I’m ready for Wimbledon…😎😎😊😊

When did the universe boil down to one man?

Man’s evolution in understanding the world around has been a long and a natural progression. From a point when everything around us was an amazing mystery to a point when civilizations began to intuitively figure things out; and then on to the birth of modern science. Through it all, there has been a steady progress in man’s nuanced comprehension of the complexities of the universe.

 

They say genius lies in the ability to simplify things; and we in India, as befits one of the oldest civilizations of the world, have taken the lead in this area and have pretty much been able to fit everything into what I call the BTM-BTM framework. Or, the “Blow to Modi” – “Boost to Modi” framework.

 

When I see headlines that scream “In a boost to the Modi govt, Sensex climbs 200 points” or “In a blow to Modi, the monsoons may be delayed”, I have to wonder what things have come to.

 

Sure, all of these things will affect Modi, but the main thing is that it will affect many of us a tad more than it affects Modi himself. At the best of times, the Sensex behaves like a whimsical dot on the monitor of a patient with palpitations – how a 200 point movement will be a boost to anyone, let alone the PM of a country, is anyone’s guess. Or is it that, this headline makes the mundane grab a few more eyeballs? If the monsoons get delayed, is Modi going to suffer or is it millions of farmers? 

 

But even this is ok – at least these are somewhat macro events that have a wide impact. Unfortunately, we have allowed our mental faculties to deteriorate to the point where we are all polarized and belong to one extreme or the other, even though we have conveniently learnt to draw the ideological centre at exactly the point that each of us inhabits!

 

If you’re still not convinced, see if you can categorize the following into one of the following three buckets – Blow to Modi, Boost to Modi, Others :

 

1.     Petrol prices fall by 2 Rupees.

2.     Onion prices rise by Re. 1 per kg.

3.     Covid cases rise in Kerala.

4.     Covid cases rise in Gujarat.

 

Chances are, you’ve got absolutely none of these into the “Others” category. Pretty much everything is in the BTM bucket or in the BTM bucket. There is no other slot. In fact, things have come to a pass where even the most mundane things in everyman’s life can be neatly slotted into being either a Blow to Modi or a Boost to Modi.

 

Though, the signs of this were evident as early as 2014. When Modi thundered “Swachh Bharat”, most people smirked, probably wondering how Modi was going to clean up the mess outside their house which had defeated their own RWA for the past many years! In fact, the whole thing took on a shape where it was Modi on one side and all the dirt and filth of India on the other – a grand Mahabharat of sorts, where we the citizens were mildly interested spectators…

 

You can imagine what happened next – we walk through the street, note the familiar assault on our olfactory senses and scoff to ourselves – “What bloody Swach Bharat, the guy can’t clean one street, where is he going to clean the country! Hmmmph…” 

 

Similarly with the Toilet program. Both these were cultural in nature – backed by infrastructure type projects but I guess the attempt was to change mindsets, primarily. Instead of which, what ended up happening was that we put out the couch, bought some popcorn and became the armchair evaluators – ending up chalking everything we observe under the head of Boost to Modi or Blow to Modi. If UP builds 10,000 toilets in one quarter, it’s a Boost to Modi. Then again, if Rajasthan builds 12,000 toilets in the same quarter, I’m not sure – is that a Boost or a Blow? I know it has to be one or another, but this one has me scratching my head…

 

Though the crown has to go to Andy Mukherjee when he wrote in Bloomberg that “Not once in the six years under Modi has Colgate Palmolive registered a double digit growth!” By that token, Deve Gowda would be my choice of the best ever Prime Minister, as the company that I worked in for almost 15 years posted its bests revenue growth under his able leadership. In fact, in the year 2001, we posted flat revenues for the first time ever, seriously denting Vajpayee’s claim to be one of India’s better Prime Ministers …

 

At the rate it’s going, by 2023 when my daughter’s class 12 results will be out, I’m sure her performance, depending on where it comes out, will most likely be a boost to Modi or a blow to Modi event! And the result could even have a bearing on how my family votes in the General Elections, 2024!

 

You only have to look at any whatsapp group to understand the trail of devastation this binary is leaving in its wake. I’ve seen friends of many years scrapping bitterly and becoming sworn foes to the point where they are likely to poison the other person’s tea if given half a chance. This happens even in family groups and I only wonder how things will pan out when we all come face to face as we inevitably must at some point. Blood may be thicker than water, but I realize now that it is hotter too. Things got so ridiculous in one group that was energetically allocating blame for Covid-2 that the next morning I woke up to realize that the group members had all left in a fit of pique and I was now the admin!

 

The net upshot is a situation where you either have strident, negative and in a few cases, malifide criticism or unabashed praise and virtue spotting in every action by the government. The space for constructive criticism is shrinking rapidly. The space for constructive praise has completely vanished. 

 

I just wish we can unwind our positions and take a step back. Look at things through the lens of good for India or otherwise. Modi is here today. Someone else will be there tomorrow. We put him there. Not you, not me – We. That’s how a democracy is supposed to work, isn’t it? And if it won’t work that way, perhaps the noises about democracy being in danger are actually true!

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