My love for tennis has a lot to do with Federer. I also loved watching Borg, McEnroe, Sampras, Agassi, Becker and a bunch of others, but Federer was special. The way he moves, that service, the forehand, the delightful single-handed backhand, the sheer effortlessness and so on. The GOAT debate is eternal and you can find a lot to say for Nadal and Djokovic and others from a sheer results and tennis ability perspective. But then you add on the flair quotient : his demeanour, personality, sense of humor, polyglotism, acting ability – remember that delightful Swiss tourism commercial he featured in recently – and you have someone with multiple dimensions. For me that’s what makes him so much more than just a great tennis player.
He rode the decade of 2000’s like a colossus, sharing space with Rafa, no doubt, but still dominant in most parts. Then the slump around 2013. And then the unbelievable comeback in 2017! Which is what makes the current run so excruciating to witness.
When I saw his matches in Dubai earlier this year, for the first time ever I could see his face red with exertion. Geneva next – brief touches of the magic and then the collapse, a first round exit. I was feeling sick to the stomach. There were times during that match when I just switched the TV off in sheer frustration. The French open was a mixed experience, he played three rounds, did not lose, but was clearly huffing and puffing. On to Halle, a decent first round, a lovely first set with Aliassime and then the meltdown, the exit, the ignominy, the frustration, the pain. I could not bring myself to watch the third set. I was increasingly finding myself not watching his matches live, fearing his level of play and the results.
As the circus moved on to Wimbledon, like many Fed heads, I was filled with disappointment with his play so far and with trepidation for the fortnight ahead. Why the hell can’t the man retire? Why can he not move on with grace? Is this how he would like us to remember him? Oh, the agony of watching your heroes struggle!!
And then it hit me. Isn’t this the height of self-absorption? Forget my frustration, what about his? Forget what he’s putting us all through, think of what he’s putting himself through. Here’s a man who’s got 20 slams, probably the most glorified tennis player, the kind who would get crowd support even if he were playing the local favorite anywhere in the world! He’s got four young kids, a family, a foundation, he’s probably among those professionals who has a vibrant life beyond tennis.
He’s choosing to put himself through this. He’s choosing to go through the agony, fighting his way through the cobwebs, trying to breakthrough one more time. He clearly believes he’s got more juice in him. And if he’s right, it’ll still take him a while to get there. For us to rush to write him of is actually pretty silly. And disloyal!! It’s easy to stick with him when he’s winning. Do we have the heart to stick with him as he goes through the toughest battle of his career?
Ever since my epiphany, I can’t help feeling amazed by his ability to hit the court after the kind of matches he’s had this year. I mean, after the Halle exit, topped off with a kind of mental meltdown in the 3rd set, how does he even show up for work at Wimbledon? How does he put that kind of an episode behind him?
I truly believe we are witnessing his biggest and most intense battle with himself. And we are privileged to be part of it, even as spectators. He may break through, he may not. But this is what all the self-help and management books tell us, right? Keep fighting. Never give up. It’s always darkest before dawn. And when we see that playing in front of us, we don’t have the stomach to deal with the troughs. If we cannot appreciate the fight he’s putting up now, then we as fans are very unidimensional – Federer is like a performing pony for us – as long as he wins he’s great, but the minute he starts slowing down, we have no use for him.
As far as I’m concerned, I’m going to rejoice in his play. He’ll win some, he may lose many. But watching an aging warrior fight through to see if there’s still some leftover magic is an epic that I realize I’m privileged to watch.
My eyes have opened. I’m a Fed head again!! And a content one at that. The demons of uncertainly and fear about his performances are gone. Bring on the strawberries and cream. I’m ready for Wimbledon…😎😎😊😊
Yes, supporting Federer when he is winning is easy. Supporting him for making the effort when he himself knows he hardly has a chance feels rather right and the honourable thing to do.
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